Struggling so badly. The first step is always the hardest and I can't seem to meaningfully jump forward. Had another binge today (MacDonald's meal with full fat Coke, piece of cake with icing, 2 packets of crisps, sweets, chocolate, full breakfast and dinner) and that makes 3 days in a row. I weighed myself this morning at 118lbs. 118!! I can't wait until I leave this job and live by myself again so I don't have to hide my habits anymore (not that anyone takes any notice anyway - everyone I live with have their own food problems). I have to stop it tomorrow. It has to stop. I am going to leave my cash and cards at home and have only a slice of toast for breakfast, soup and roll for lunch and something like toast for dinner. Toast is a wonder-food. It makes you feel so full! It's a nasty carb, I know, but for 170 calories you can have a slice of yummy white with full-fat butter spread on it. It warms you up (all those familiar with the rather cooling effect of weightloss with hear me here!) and it tastes GOOD. I always round up my calories anyway - tomorrow I will have 800 calories, which is more like 600 in reality. That should jump-start the control again. It's funny, when I lose control with food I usually lose control with money. I spent $400 on rubbish last night. I need a plan and the guts to follow it through. This will be my diet tomorrow:
6:45am Wake up and go for a run if it isn't raining too hard. If it is, yoga and cardio in my bedroom.
7:15am Breakfast of water, tea and orange juice.
10:30am Black tea.
13:00 If hungry, tomato soup and breadroll. If not hungry, skinny latte to go in the library.
15:00 Black tea.
18:00 Whatever dinner my father makes (first steps first!).
IhavehaveHAVEhavehavetodothis.
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