LilySlim Weight charts

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

let me ask you this

This isn't a unique and wonderful theory I have come up with all by myself, but it is one I have been seriously thinking about recently. Are all people with eating/weight problems (those that have body dysmorphia, anorexia, ednos and bulimia to some extent - basically all eating disorders other than obesity); do they hold ridiculous ideals for themselves? Do they hold themselves up to a higher standard than they do other people?

Are we all chronic over-achievers?

I have been a chronic over-achiever since I was very young. I learnt to walk before most kids and insisted on walking everywhere whilst my peers were pushed around in prams. I learnt to add, multiply and divide before I was out of nursery. At the age of 9 I had a very strong and distinct image of how I would be when I was 15. That image didn't exactly come true (no I didn't have a wonderful boyfriend whom I loved as did everyone else, no I wasn't head girl with perfect grades, a published author and accepted into Cambridge 3 years early). The images became more and more wild and wonderful and they continue to do so. I haven't succeeded in any of them thus far, although every once in a while I will suddenly realise I feel amazing, I look amazing and I am content and I flick back to my 9 year old self and look up at me now and realise that I'm doing pretty alright for myself.

But is ignorance really bliss? My first doctor told me I need to stop setting impossible targets for myself as it was a problem. I mentioned this in one of the therapy groups I had to attend and it was reported back to me that this isn't true. That goals are really very good for you. Sometimes I think I would be a lot happier if I didn't care and dream so much, but I can't get my head around having that mindframe in the first place! Do I try and tone it down? Will this be translated by my psyche as defeat and my self-worth eroded even further?

You are what you are, I guess.


  1. I think that is a good point. I've always been a good student in school and a perfectionist. I never feel good enough for myself.

  2. I've always been too perfectionist too, and always set maybe unrealistic goals...

  3. we are all good enough for ourselves! we're all smart and attractive people with wonderful personalities.

    why do you think you set unrealistic goals? is it the result of some traumatic event or the way you were brought up, or something more general like the influence of society?

  4. I'm def an imperfect perfectionist... making life hard...

    There is a study published in the past few years specifcally about perfectionistic tendencies in anorexia.... I think the author is Kimbrel or Nelson-Gray.

  5. I think we're all perfectionists with unrealistic goals, and that's why anorexia is unrealistic when it comes to weight loss. It's drastic and extreme, like our dreams.

  6. i agree with onetenam. im a perfectionist, and the more i lose the control of a perfect body/weight, the more it comes out for normal life.

  7. http://www.vanderbilt.edu/ans/psychology/health_psychology/perfect.htm