Wednesday, 21 July 2010
I guess I'm a little heartbroken. I get through the days and I even smile quite a bit. But I just feel so bloody empty now that he's gone, my best friend, the man I always thought I would marry, just up'd and left me like it was almost natural. I have been told that he's in a lot worse state than I am over this, but it doesn't change anything. I haven't cried properly yet. I'm one of those slightly stoic entities (I think this is a pattern common to most of us girls yes?!) who never really cries. I maybe do it once ever 6 months, if that. I'm just stalling now. I'm getting through the days, I'm breathing, I'm going to sleep. But I'm not doing anything *real*. I've stopped dieting. I've stopped doing my hobbies. Against all advice, all philosophy, I have become an island. I'm an island and I'm sinking bit by bit. It's taken me 10 days to realise this.