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Wednesday 21 July 2010

mercury summer

I guess I'm a little heartbroken. I get through the days and I even smile quite a bit. But I just feel so bloody empty now that he's gone, my best friend, the man I always thought I would marry, just up'd and left me like it was almost natural. I have been told that he's in a lot worse state than I am over this, but it doesn't change anything. I haven't cried properly yet. I'm one of those slightly stoic entities (I think this is a pattern common to most of us girls yes?!) who never really cries. I maybe do it once ever 6 months, if that. I'm just stalling now. I'm getting through the days, I'm breathing, I'm going to sleep. But I'm not doing anything *real*. I've stopped dieting. I've stopped doing my hobbies. Against all advice, all philosophy, I have become an island. I'm an island and I'm sinking bit by bit. It's taken me 10 days to realise this.
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5 comments:

  1. Anonymous21 July 2010 at 19:41

    I do the same crying bit. Its like if I don't cry it makes me stronger or something.

    and there isn't really any advice or anything to make it better. You don't have to listen to any of it. All there is to do is let time pass. You won't feel better until a certain time has gone by, and its the sad truth. But it will get better, eventually. Really, it will.

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  2. Anonymous22 July 2010 at 12:20

    don't let a man stop you from reaching your goals.

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  3. Lockeven23 July 2010 at 14:48

    I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. : (

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  4. Lund3on23 July 2010 at 19:22

    I know I'm gonna sounds like such a bad friend.. but one thing I LOVE about break ups is you usually lose A LOT of wieght! So use this to diet more and get ready for you! Take this time to perfect yourself! It's all about you now, girl! Men will come and go, but you are always stuck with yourself.. so make it the best and try not to get so down.

    I never cry either.. and I think there is physically something wrong with me sometimes, but FUCK IT! .. no time to dwell on that shit.. just get skinny! That's how I see it! If we all sit around and feel sorry for ourselves.. we'll never get shit done. Trust me.. I'm the epitemy of people who feels sorry for themselves.. I'm pretty pathetic.. have you read my blog?? You'll get a nice taste from it of how pathetic I can be. I know you're feeling really shitty.. but focus that shitty feeling into losing more! I know you can do it!!! You'll pull yourself out of this! You have to!

    Sorry for the long post..

    -Lund3on

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  5. +++ana banana+++26 July 2010 at 20:16

    Thanks guys :-)

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